Ah yes, because "nerd" is a synonym for "visually impaired."

If you're ever feeling brave, just think of what Bert would look like without the eyebrow.

Chew on that

Yeah, but white girls wear makeup.

Dear Spotify Ads,

Try adding intelligence.

High-Quality Siblingship

The funny thing is, literally everything Ethan and I do would be taken as flirting if we weren't related.

One time Alex left his jacket at our house, and Rebekah wore it.

I laughed at her up until last night when Joseph left his here.

Eh, fair enough.

"Hey Rebekah, what time--"

"I am only listening to Coldplay right now."

Isn't that what matters?

Rebekah: "You know you spell 'frappuchino' wrong, right?"

Emily: "Yeah, but I spell it how I like it..."

Little girl: "You laugh a lot."

Me: "A lot is funny."

Still can't take walks by myself...

"But Emily, young women like you are vulnerable."

"Yep, and so are the mid-sections of middle-aged men."



I've played soccer, think I don't know how to kick?

Le me: "I don't want this."

Le Ethan: "I'll eat it!"

Le me: "I've been sick."

Le Ethan: "No you haven't."

Le me: "SICK AS FRICK."

Properties of a Halogen:

--Reactive

--Salt producer


...

You mean, me?

Irony

Songs are always much cooler before they become "cool."

I didn't know my phone could do that;

See I was going to sleep tonight but then you posted a code I couldn't crack

-_-

Checking his profile on Instagram because I miss him and pictures of him are nice and I'm not creepy.

Displeased to find pictures of me. 

My family is more punk than yours

Ethan: *screams at the top of his lungs*

Rebekah: "Ethan!! What have we told you about screaming?"

Ethan: *sigh*  "Don't do it unless you can hit the note..."

Le me:  "By the way, you're not allowed in my closet, there are Christmas presents in there."

Le Greenie:  "Well I never go in your closet, but now I have a reason to."

*looks for something to throw at you*